Do You Really Want a Relationship?

I just recently saw the latest rant from a single friend of mine on Facebook.  He was going on and on about how he is so over the gay scene, about how most men are just whores who aren't looking for love, about how no one is worthy of trust, and about how he will probably be single for the rest of his life.  I know this individual well enough to know that while he may be projecting fault for his lack of relationship on others, most of the blame for this void in coupling falls squarely on his lap.

While I reflected on this for a moment, it dawned on me that this may be true for many of my gay friends.  I know several men (and some women) who refuse to date a man that is shorter than them.  I know individuals that have dismissed a potential mate because they don't make enough money.  Sometimes they aren't fine enough.  Sometimes they aren't cute enough.  I've seen men label someone as their boyfriend and after their first fight they go their separate ways.  And these fights can be over things as trivial as, "Did you like the movie?" 

For countless men I know, their first time meeting someone comes from a hook up site.  The reality is we're living in the days of Grindr, Craigslist, and Plenty of Fish.  For many friends I have, when they meet someone, they have seen the other person's dick long before they have ever heard their voice or seen their face. And we must address the aspects here that make people quickly dismiss others.  I personally feel people need time to get to know what turns on someone else sexually.  But in this age of free and omnipresent porn, if the sex isn't mind-blowing on the night they meet, there will never be an opportunity for a second "date."

So let's be real!  How can someone ever be good enough to make it to relationship material?  Their was a time when people were concerned about "do we have the same values."  Today's concern's are more along the lines of, "He said he's a top, but he only has six and half inches!"

It's time to have a real long, internal conversation.  Why do you think relationships always fall just out of your grasp?  You say there are no good men in the dating pool, but aren't you in the dating pool?  If you have great qualities and characteristics, don't you feel that there may be others out there who are good and descent as well?  You may never honestly be able to answer these questions if your "dating" life cycle is limited to shallow and superficial standards, dick pics, random hook-ups.  Could the problem be you?

Confessions of a Black Queer In New England

A.K.A. "I'm Coming Out.  I Want the World To Know!"  I've been living in Manchester, NH for just over six months and I must say, it's been an interesting journey.  I wake up every morning still happy I made the move because I wake up next to a person I am still very much in love with.  After months of searching I have finally found employment.  Thanks to friendly neighbors, classes, and work, I am starting to develop some friends in this new area, so I'm grateful for that as well.

But I must admit, there is still a lot I'm longing for in this new place called home.  As a black gay man, it's so difficult to be totally comfortable in a place that is so white and so straight.  Manchester has nothing to offer the LGBT community outside of it's two gay bars.  I am over 40 and I am in a relationship.  The bars have nothing of interest for me. I would love to see a community center.  Gay and lesbian organizations.  Hell, I'd even be happy just to see an LGBT book club. 

When I lived in Arizona I thought there were very few black people.  We were only 4 percent of the state, but at least in Phoenix, we made up 12% of the city. Many folks (black folks included) prefer to live in a more urban area so we were a higher part of the population in the city. There weren't as many black folks as what I was used to growing up in the South, but at least we were represented .  And though there wasn't a plethora of black faces, there was an abundance of brown faces.  So it was still nice to see quite a diverse population.  Here in New Hampshire, it is just white.  White. White. White!

On a positive note, this state is way more progressive than Alabama or Arizona.  That helps.  A LOT!  But it would still be inviting if there some LGBT organizations or if I saw more black people on my commute to work.  But alas, it is what it is.

Maybe I'll develop something to fill some of the voids I've witnessed during my short tenure here.  Time will tell.  I'm keeping busy and I've got my boo, so for now I'm good.  But after few months I just wanted to vent about what I've observed.

Jume 30 - Keke Palmer: Renaissance Woman

We will end our June celebration (LGBT Pride month and Black Music month) with a look at Keke Palmer.  She will forever be little Akeelah from Akeelah and the Bee for me.  But this little talent has blossomed into one fierce little diva who is killing it in everything she touches and in everything she tries. She is way more than a triple threat. She has tried her hand on the big screen, the small screen, the stage, and the recording studio and she's nailed them all.

Let's start with the big screen.  Keke made her film debut in Barbershop 2: Back in Business.  The little actress was suddenly working alongside some of the big names like Queen Latifah and Ice Cube.  But it would be her second feature that would be her claim to fame.  America fell in love with her in the lead role as Akeelah, the young girl on a mission to win the National Spelling Bee.  Other staring roles for her include Madea's Family Reunion, Joyful Noise, and Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom.  Television shows featuring Keke include Knights of the South Bronx, Jump In, Rag, and my personal favorite - Scream Queens. She would also play the role of Rozonda "Chili" Thomas in the VH1 biopic "CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story. For her role in the Nickelodeon  show, True Jackson, VP, she earned $20,000 per episode making her the forth highest paid child star on television.  

In 2014, it was announced that Keke would be the first African-American to star at Cinderella on Broadway.  In October of 2015, she joined the cast of the Fox production of Grease Live.  In spite of all of this success as actress, music is her first love and her main calling.

Keke's first released album, So Uncool, draws influences from some of her pop favorites like Ciara, Janet Jackson, Brandy, and Whitney Houston.  In 2016 she released her a previously unreleased album she recorded at the age of 16 which she would call "Waited to Exhale." Please get into her video to "Wind Up" below . . . 

June 29 - Johnny Mathis: Classic Balladeer

In 2017, in an interview with Us magazine, Johnny Mathis discussed something he has been silent about in over three decades.  His sexuality. In 1982, also with Us magazine, Mathis came out by stating "Homosexuality is a way of life I've grown accustomed to."  Following that article he went silent on this issue.  

He shared in this recent interview that the reason he wouldn't discuss the issue was because of the numerous threats he received after he came out.  But he appears once again ready to address this issue.  In the new write up he claims, "I come from San Francisco.  It's not unusual to be gay in San Francisco.  I've had some girlfriends, some boyfriends, just like most people.  But  I never got married for instance.  I knew that I was gay."

He also mentions that part of the reason for his silence was generational.  Speaking publicly about being gay was just not something people from his generation would do.  

In 2003, the Academy for Arts and Sciences awarded Mathis the Lifetime Achievement Award.  He has been inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame for three seperate recording including "Chance Are" 1998, "Misty" 2002 and "It's Not for Me to Say" 2008.

Please check out one of my all time Mathis favorites, his duet with Deniece Williams, "Too Much, Too Little, Too Late."

June 28 - Bobby Debarge: Falsetta For the Gods

As a member of one of the most recognizable R&B families ever, Bobby Debarge's last name is one that immediately makes people pause for a moment and flashback to times of "real music."As one of the lead vocalist in Motown's sensational group, Switch, Bobby's was the voice that made the Debarge name famous.

While the group was basking in the success of some of their hits such as "There'll Never Be" and "I Call Your Name," Bobby was simultaneously dealing with his demons.  He was heavily addicted to drugs, bearing the shame of of growing up the victim of sexual abuse, and trying desperately to live openly as bisexual whle publicly being one half of one of the most famous R&B relationships there was.  He was dating LaToya Jackson.  The Debarge's and the Jackson's were the two biggest names there were in R&B. These two were Motown royalty and the entire country loved the fact that these two beautiful people were a couple.

Unfortunately Bobby would never win his fight with drugs.  He would struggle with this addiction his entire life.  In 1988 he was sentenced to five years in prison for drug trafficking.  He revealed to his family before going to prison that he had acquire HIV.  In 1995, Bobby became gravely ill and his family sent him to hospice.  He died on August 16, 1995 from HIV related complications.

His little brother El, probably the most famous of the Debarge clan, has stated that he wishes his voice was as smooth as his brother Bobby's.  Switch's song "There'll Never Be" is still played often in my home and in my car.  Please check out Switch's performance of this hit on Soul Train . . . 

June 27 - Meshell Ndegeocello: Birth Mother of NeoSoul

"If that's your boyfriend, if that's your boyfriend, if that's your boyfriend, he wasn't last night."  That is the hook of the very song I ever heard by Meshell.  I remember it vividly.  I was in college and this anthem of infidelity was bumping everywhere on campus. It was quite the hit. I was not aware that this young lady and ushering in a new wave of music that would eventually wear the title "NeoSoul."

Meshell was born Michelle Lynn Johnson but adopted the surname Ndegeocello which means "free like a bird" in Swahili.  Her biggest hit to this date is her duet with John Cougar Mellancamp.  "Wild Nights" was their cover of the Van Morrison hit.  This song would reach number 3 on the Billboard charts.  She has also collaborated with such greats as Herbie Hancock, Madonna and Chaka Khan.  

Since 1993 she has released 11 studio albums and her twelfth is scheduled for release in November of this year.  In addition to her studio albums, she has released quite a bit of music that is featured in the soundtracks of movies.  Some of those include How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Love and Basketball, The Best Man, and Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls. My favorite song by her would be a song from one of those soundtracks.  It is simply called "Untitled."  Get into it below . . . 

June 26 - Kevin Aviance: Din Da Da

In 2016, Kevin Aviance made the 93 slot on the list of most successful dance artists of all time. A drag personality known the whole world over, he has worked with the likes of Janet Jackson and Whitney Houston and even appeared in Madonna's "Secrets" video. 

Kevin has been able to carve a bit of a niche for himself in music and on film.  Some of his hits include "Rhythm Is My Bitch," "Cunty," and "Strut."  And some movie titles to his credit include, Punks, Naked Fame and also Freaks, Glam Gods and Rockstars.

He began his career as a drag performer but moved far beyond the queen just prancing on the floor and lip syncing to the songs of others.  He was determined to make his own music, develop his own sound, and build a brand for himself as a gender bending, non conforming performing artist.

Despite his success, his fame would not hide him from ignorance and violence.  In 2006 while leaving a bar in New York City, he would become the victim of a hate crime.  Outside of the East Village bar called Phoenix, he was robbed and beaten.  The attack would require him to have his jaw wired shut for over a month.  He also suffered from a fractured knee and neck injuries.  

Please get into one of my favorite songs by him below . . . 

June 25 - Raven Symone: Undetered and Undefined

For most of us, the first time we laid eyes on Raven Symone was when she played  the adorable little girl on The Cosby Show.  Denise (Lisa Bonet) has returned to the show after dropping out of college.  She was now married and she had a step daughter.  Olivia Kindall was an excellent addition to the cast and she immediately captured everyone's hearts. America well in love with young Raven Symone.

The Cosby Show would air it's final episode in 1992.  Although she would go continue to act in many small parts, it would be another decade before we saw Raven spearheading a show.  In 2003 she began playing the role that would make her a fan favorite of an entire generation of Disney kids.  "That's So Raven" would make her a household phenomena once again.  And with the title character wearing her real name, it brilliantly gifted her undeniable name recognition that she will carry with her for life.

Most were unaware that of Raven's same gender attraction until tweet that would cause everyone to pause and go "huh?"  Following the Supreme Court's decision to make marriage equality the law of the land, Symone posted the following tweet to her account, "I can finally get married. Yay government.  So proud of you"

Many folks, myself included were dumbfounded.  Who knew America's sweetheart was a lesbian? While she'll be the first to say that she does not like labels and probably would not self identity in this manner, she is now very open about her same gender attraction and lives her life publicly with her partner.

She is definitely more famous as an actress, but she is also a recording artist.  She has recorded with the young girl group, The Cheetah Girls, and she some solo projects under her belt.  Please check out her Backflip video here . . .

June 24 - Rev. James Cleveland: Gospel Legend

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 Most fans of gospel music are familiar with this legendary recording artist.  He earned four Grammy awards for his music and he would become the first gospel artist to earn a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He was the incomparable James Cleveland.

Reading his Wikipedia page you would never know that James Cleveland was a gay man.  Until you get to the final passage on the page which briefly speaks of an individual that sued the estate of Cleveland claiming that he was sexually molested by the man and became HIVpositive because of these actions.

Growing up in the South and growing up in the choir, I heard numerous stories about Cleveland. When I went off to college I continued to sing and would eventually start to attend the National Baptist convention of America.  I swear to you it was like a black gay pride.  Most of the men at the convention were gay men and all of us would praise God through song during the day and rush off to the clubs at night.  Oh Happy Day!

I heard numerous stories from various men about their escapades with James Cleveland. I'm not going to fault Cleveland for his downlow behaviour or these young men for hooking up with someone they considered a hero to them.  It was simply the way things were.  If you were active in the church you were not allowed to be honest and live and out and proud life.  It was required that you put on a facade.  You were not allowed to live your life authentically.

So although he may not have been an "out" gay man.  I feel very comfortable in including him on this list.

My favorite song by James Cleveland was and still is "Peace Be Still." Please check it out below.

June 23 - Carl Bean: Born This Way

Who knew that a Motown recording artist would go on to create an opening and welcoming church for African-American LGBT individuals?  Carl Bean was signed to Motown during the peak of the disco era.  Decades before Lady Gaga would climb the charts with her hit, "Born This Way," Carl Bean had a disco hit with the exact same name.  His tune was an anthem for gay pride and LGBT inclusion and equality.

Carl Bean would go on to find the Unity Fellowship Church (UFC).  Now going under the moniker Archbishop Carl Bean, he created UFC because for many black queer folks, the black church was not a welcoming place.  

If you would like to learn more about this remarkable disco diva turned spiritual leader, please check out his autobiography "I Was Born This Way: A Preacher's Journey through Gospel Music, Disco Stardom, and a Ministry in Christ."  

Check out his hit below . . .

June 22 - Todrick Hall: YouTube Sensation

Perhaps the most creative and talented millenial we've seen, Todrick Hall's viral YouTube videos have earned him his star status and made him a household name.  Original songs, innovative parodies, stunning visuals, and gifted choreography are just some of his trademarks and the videos just keep coming. Because of the brilliance of his videos (and I'm sure thanks to his number of social media followers), Todrick was picked by MTV to star in his own series simply titled "Todrick."

Some of us were first introduced to Todrick when he tried out for American Idol.  And though he was successful in his audition and received a golden ticket to go to Hollywood, he was an early elimination from Season 9.  Following the Idol, he returned to the stage and did some work on Broadway.  Though he was finding work in New York, Todrick felt like Las Angeles was where he should be.  So he eventually packed up and relocated even though he had no idea what he would be doing upon arrival.

Although Todrick had a longing for Hollywood, it seems like Hollywood did not have a longing for him.  After months of pounding the pavement, he started to think that maybe he made a bad decision in the relocation.  During this time of uncertainty, he gathered a group of friends and organized a flash mob that would happen at Target and would be performed to Beyonce's "End of Time."  The Beyonce garnered millions of videos and was so popular even Beyonce took to YouTube to thank Todrick for the tribute.

With no offers of stardom heading his way, Todrick decided to throw all of his money into another YouTube video.  This one would be more than just a mall flash mob.  This one involved casting and costumes and a song parody.  His video "Beauty and the Beat" was another internet sensation and suddenly Todrick was becoming "one to watch."

Todrick soon realized that making viral videos could be his avenue to making it.  And guess what, he was right.  The videos got bigger and bigger, eventually there would be tours and before you know  it was "Todrick" the MTV show.  

My favorite project by Todrick thus far would be "Straight Outta Oz."  This film which he released directly to YouTube told the story of a young Todrick who loves music but is different from other kids in his family and in his town.  And upon learning that he likes boys falls out of his mother's graces and eventually leaves home to make his own way in the world. Please get into it below . . . 

June 21 - Little Richard: A Wop Boppa Lou Bop

Richard's signature sound, flamboyant look, and electric moves on stage always made him a showstopper. For most audiences he was mesmerizing.  For many artists, he was the blueprint.  At the 1988 Grammy's while presenting the award for Best New Artist, he proudly proclaimed, "I am the Architect of Rock & Roll." I would be hard pressed trying to find someone that would disagree with his statement. He is quick to make statements like "Elvis Presley, he stole from me! James Brown stole from me! I'm the originator!" 

After reading Wikipedia's list of artists that claim to be influenced by Little Richard, I'm going to have to say, he is absolutely right.  The paragraph below outlines those individuals . . .

Richard influenced generations of performers across musical genres.   James Brown and Otis Redding both idolized Little Richard. Brown allegedly came up with the Famous Flames debut hit, "Please, Please, Please", after Little Richard had written the words on a napkin.  Redding started his professional career with Little Richard's band, The Upsetters. He first entered a talent show performing Little Richard's "Heeby Jeebies", winning for 15 consecutive weeks.  Ike Turnerclaimed most of Tina Turner's early vocal delivery was based on Little Richard, something Little Richard himself reiterated in the foreword of Turner's biography, King of Rhythm.  Bob Dylan first performed covers of Little Richard's songs on piano in high school with his rock and roll group, the Golden Chords; in 1959 when leaving school, he wrote in his yearbook under "Ambition": "to join Little Richard". Jimi Hendrix was influenced in appearance (clothing and hairstyle/mustache) and sound by Little Richard. He was quoted in 1966 saying, "I want to do with my guitar what Little Richard does with his voice." Others influenced by Little Richard early on in their lives included Bob Seger and John Fogerty.  Michael Jackson admitted that Little Richard had been a huge influence on him prior to Off the Wall. Rock critics noted similarities between Prince's androgynous look, music and vocal style to Little Richard's

While he may be quickly recognized by many (and that is musically and by appearance), most are probably unaware of his troubled childhood or his interesting, complex relationship with the church. Both of these were brilliantly reflected in the television biopic of his life. Directed by Robert Townsend, starring Jennifer Lewis and featuring Leon as Little Richard; the movie does an amazing job narrating us through his rough and rigged bond with his father, to his development of his stage persona to his introduction to make-up.  

Little Richard was indeed a trailblazer and though he may not have numerous awards or accolades, he is tremendously respected by his peers and countless artists still point to him as a source of inspiration.  Check him out below performing his hit Lucille.

Nona Hendryx: Social Justice Warrior

First time I saw Nona Hendryx perform live, it was on Live at the Apollo.  I didn't know who she was. I didn't know she previously shared the stage with Patti LaBelle as one third of the LaBelle girl group. I did not know at that point that she already had over two decades in the music game.  What I did know was that I was being blown away by the performance happening before me.

The song was Winds of Change (Mandela to Mandela).  I was young and closeted but I was oddly attracted to Nona and this song.  This was before the internet so I had no way of researching her.  But I did know when the show would be airing again and I grabbed a tape so I could record this performance on the VCR so I could watch it over and over again.

It would be years later when I say her performing again [and this time the internet was available] that I researched her.  What did I learn?  I learned about her tenure with LaBelle.  I learned that she has a history of activism taking up issues like Apartheid, HIV/AIDS and LGBT rights.  In 2001, in an interview with The Advocate, she discussed why likes to an advocate of equality but does not like to talk about her personal life. The article when she was asked how she can be out but uncomfortable with disclosing and she replied about her life, "It's an open book, really. I don't want to brand myself one way or another. I'm attracted to men and women. People want to lump you into a group."

Please check my all-time favorite performance of hers below (I still get goosebumps when I hear this dedication to Nelson Mandela) . . .

Billy Porter: Her Name Was Lola

Billy Porter.  Some call him The Voice.  I call him an inspiration.  He is out and proud.  He is African-American.  He is a star of the big screen and of the stage.  He is a Tony award winner.  He is an R&B recording artist.  And he slays everytime he steps up to the mic.

I first learned of Billy Porter in the 1990s.  I was in college when he dropped his hit Show Me.  It was in heavy rotation in my little dorm room.  Interesting little point, this song came out about the same time I was getting comfortable in my skin and starting to come out of the closet.  At the time of its release, I was unaware that Porter was gay.

The next time I would see Porter was when he appeared on Oprah in 2005.  The topic of her show was being gay and being in show business.  Billy had shared his story with the author of When I Knew, and several contributors were on the show to share their coming out stories. On the show he discussed how his family went into denial after his attempt to come out to them.   On Oprah he shared . . .

It was a powerful case of denial—Billy says he had to come out to his mother three times! "I come from a very religious background," he explains. "My mother is a Pentecostal preacher, and she just didn't want to hear it." After two failed attempts, Billy decided to bring home a man he was in love with. "It's not about you," he told his mom the third time. "It's about me. I have to live this."

Then I fell in love with him again when I saw him in one of my all-time favorite movies Broken Hearts Club.  Billy played Taylor, the tightly wound, over the top, relationship oriented guy who learns not long into the movie that his boyfriend is leaving him for a trainer named Dash. This makes for one of my favorite movie lines ever.  "I've been dumped for a punctuation mark."

Mr. Porter would really step into his greatest when he took on the role of Lola in Cyndi Lauper's Broadway production of Kinky Boots.  Billy was cast in the role of Lola.  In an interview regarding the show, he said, "You know Lola is a force of nature human being who is on the planet as a conduit for change." He says he was born to play this part.  I believe him because he owned this part.  His performance was so spectacular  that it earned him a Tony Award, an Outer Critics Circle Award, and a Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Actor in a Musical.

In January of 2017, Billy married his long term partner, Adam Smith. Smith is co-owner of the eyewear company Native Ken.  The two met in 2009 and dated for a year but eventually broke up.  They would connect again in 2015 and this time things moved rather quickly for the two of them.  They would become engaged on December 29, 2016 and  their actual nuptials happened shortly thereafter. According to Smith, it was important for the two of them to get married while Barack Obama was still in office as President of the United States.

Billy has such a strong voice and there are so many recordings of his that I admire.  But there is one that stands out a bit more than the others for me.  "Love Is On The Way" is from The First Wives Club Soundtrack.  It's a song I cannot hear this without getting emotional.  For me, tears come every time he belts "love is on the way on wings of angels." Please take a listen below . . .

DeJuaii Pace: The Anointed One

In 2011, DeJuaii shocked the world of gospel music and her siblings by coming out of the closet.  The Anointed Pace Sisters are one of the most accomplished groups in gospel.  In 2011, DeJuaii joined the cast of OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) reality show Addicted To Food.  On the show DeJuaii revealed some very personal  things about herself including the fact that 1) she was a compulsive overeater and she was addicted to food. 2) She was a virgin. And 3) She is sexually attracted to women.

At 45 years of age, DeJuaii had never had sex with another person and for the first time in her life, she revealed that she was a lesbian to a national audience.  The reaction from her sisters was quick and it was not pleasant. Her sisters were upset that the revelation came on the show and not with them personally and annoyed by the fact that she identified as lesbian because this "preference" according to how they were raised was sinful and against the will of God.

The sisters got together on Iyanla, Fix My Life also on the OWN Network to discuss being overweight and to talk about their sisters revelation that she is a lesbian.  The bias that has resulted from their church upbringing reared its head and manifested itself in homophobia and judgement toward DeJuaii.  DeJuaii shared with Iyanla "I'm angry because I feel that my attraction to women is wrong."  She went on to state that she felt that "who I am is unacceptable and it embarrasses my family."

My prayer for DeJuaii is that I hope she can get to the point where she is comfortable with the fact that she is a lesbian.  And I hope that she can find someone she is attracted to and is attracted to her and that she is able to explore her sexuality and lose her virginity in a way that is healthy and leaves her happy.  My prayer for her family is that get over the religious doctrine they were taught that allowed them to judge their sister and someone that's sinful.  Hopefully they are able to love and welcome their sister for who she is, a same-gender loving woman.

My favorite song by The Anointed Pace Sisters is U Know.  Please take a listen here. Also, please check out this intense moment on Iyanla as  the sisters discuss DeJuaii's attraction to women.

Billy Preston: Born Again

As a solo artist, Billy Preston gave us such hits like "Will It Go Round in Circles", "Nothing from Nothing", "Outta Space", and "That's The Way God Planned It."  As a session keyboardist, he has backed such greats as Little Richard, Sam Cooke, and Ray Charles. He is the only musician to be credited on a Beatle's recording other than the groups fab four members.  Their number one song "Get Back" is credited as The Beatles with Billy Preston.  Stephen Stills approached Preston to ask if he could use his line "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" to pen the hit "Love The One Your With."  Additionally, Billy co-wrote the song "You Are So Beautiful" which would go on to become a number five hit for Joe Cocker.

Billy Preston would enjoy a long and productive career collaborating with and performing for The Beatles.  He managed to remain busy and continue recording even after The Beatles would break up. He worked with George Harrison for some time and then did some session work for Eric Clapton.  He played keyboards for The Rolling Stones on several of  the albums and on their tours.

Billy Preston did not share the truth about his sexuality publicly, but he did open up with some of those he became close with, including his manager Joyce Moore and Keith Richards.  In his memoir, Life, Richards discusses how Preston disclosed to him how he struggled with the fact that he was gay and how it conflicted with his religious upbringing.

Preston's story is just another example of the trauma I've witnessed inflicted on gay men by the church.  It's my story.  It's the story of many of my friends.  And I continue to read about it and hear about it on almost a daily basis.

Of all the hits he is credited with, my favorite will always be, "With You I'm Born Again."  Please get into it below:

  

Billy Strayhorn: Take The A Train

Billy Strayhorn may not be a name recognized in every home but he his music is probably much more recognizable than his name sake. Those that recognize the name probably know him best for his collaborations with jazz legend Duke Ellington. Strayhorn and Ellington's creative partnership lasted for over three decades and many believe that much of the music Duke Ellington takes credit for writing may have actually been penned by Strayhorn. Billy "Sweet Pea" Strayhorn was a quiet, reserved man that was much more comfortable allowing others to be in the spotlight while he played the supportive role. His most popular compositions include "Take The A Train", "Chelsea Bridge", "A Flower Is a Lovesome Thing", and "Lush Life."

Billy was born November 29, 1915.  In 1938 Ellington was performing in Pittsburgh and Strayhorn went to see him.  Following the performance, Billy went back to met him.  During this meeting, Strayhorn showed Ellington how he would have arranged one of his songs.   The Duke was so impressed that he went and gathered other members of the band so they could also hear Strayhorn's interpretation of some of their songs.  The following year (1939), Strayhorn was moving in with Ellington and his family.

It was through Ellington's son Mercer that Strayhorn would meet his partner.  Mercer introduced Billy to  Aaron Bridgers.  Strayhorn and Bridgers would remain a couple until Bridgers moved to Paris in 1947.  Strayhorn was openly gay and Lena Horne would still call him the love of her life.  He was charismatic and charming and had a way of influencing everyone he would meet.

In 1964, Billy was diagnosed with a cancer that would take his life in 1967.  He passed away in the company of his then partner Bill Grove.

Please check out Strayhorn performing Lush Life below . . .

Tracy Chapman:Talkin' Bout a Revolution

The first time I saw Tracy Chapman, I was watching America's Top 10 with Casey Kasem.  My Saturday morning routine involved getting up early with my brother (before our parents), fixing a bowl of cereal, and settling in for our Saturday morning cartoons.  Cartoons got us from 6:00 AM until about noon.  

Then the music part of our morning started.  It was American Bandstand, followed by America's Top 10, and then Soul Train.  Casey Kasem would always do his Top 10 countdown, showing videos of all the songs on the charts. He would sometimes close out the show with, "Artist to Look Out For."  Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" single had not yet made it into the top ten but she did make his list of those to watch because her single seemed to be rapidly rising to the top of the charts.

I remember seeing her video and looking at my brother and saying, "I really like that song."  I remember watching Tracy Chapman sing and not being totally sure if I were watching a male or a female (but I was leaning toward female).   And I remember after hearing the song for the first time on Casey Kasem suddenly hearing the song every time I turned on the radio.  And I remember days later becoming so enamored with the song that I would buy it as a 45 from our local record store.

Tracy Chapman would go on to have quite the musical career releasing eight studio albums, earning 13 total Grammy  nominations and winning four of those, and peaking at number three with her single "Gimme One Reason." Chapman considers herself very socially conscious and likes to perform at charitable events as often as she can, especially when the event is for human rights.

Oddly enough, Tracy never outed herself to the media, she was accidentally outed by her former partner Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple.  In an interview where Walker was asked about great loves in her life, she shared about her relationship with Tracy Chapman.  Oops!

Another favorite of mine is "Baby Can I Hold You." Get into it below:

Yvette Flunder: Gospel Change Agent

Yvette Flunder is the senior pastor at the City of Refuge United Church of Christ in Oakland, CA.  Her singing career began when she joined the Walter Hawkins Love Center Choir and she would later be ordained by Hawkins. She earned a M.A. and a certificate in Ministry Studies from the Pacific School of Religion and Doctor of Ministry degree from the San Francisco Theological Seminary. 

She is nationally recognized for her work as an advocate for HIV/AIDS and for her work in demanding churches recognize Christ's love and inclusion of the LGBT community.  In 2014 she was the keynote speaker at the White House for World AIDS Day where she discussed the effects of stigma and homophobia on those affected by HIV/AIDS.

As a kid that grew up in the church, I love the work Flunder is doing.  Institutionalized homophobia is a huge issue for the Black church and it must be addressed and Yvette is not quiet.  She is a loud and powerful voice and I would argue has influenced some pastors to change their stance on homosexuality.

As much as I love her for her advocacy,  I love her even more for her singing.  It was her voice that initially put her on my radar.  Her singing "Thank You Lord" with the Walter Hawkins made me a fan of hers for life. On Amazon she has recordings with the Fellowship Mass Choir and some CDs available where is singing old school spirituals and traditional gospel.  However, it is still "Thank You Lord" that I love by her the most.

Get into her performing my favorite below:     

Rahsaan Patterson: Prince of NeoSoul

Rahsaan Patterson's rise to stardom began when he was just a child.  After winning a school talent show, he decided to audition for Kid's Incorporated.  He won the part of the "Kid" and starred along side other soon to be big celebrity names like Fergie, Shanice, and Mario Lopez.  

Following Kids Incorporated he would do back up singing for artists like Martika and Colour Club and would write hit songs like "Baby" for Brandy and "Back to the World" for Tevin Campbell.  It was not until 1997 that he would record his own studio album.  The self-titled album would peak at 48 on  the Billboard Charts.  The two singles released ("Stop By" and "Where You Are") were well received by R&B audiences.

His sophomore project Love In Stereo made go a little higher on the charts, topping at 51. Two singles from this album would make it onto the charts, "Treat You Like a Queen" and "The Moment." This would be his final album with the MCA label.

Rahsaan would form his own label to record and release his following CDs.  In 2004 he released After Hours which gave us the hits "So Hot" which was featured on the "Brown Sugar" soundtrack "Aprils Kiss."  In 2008 he released Wines and Spirits and in 2011 he released Bluephoria.  

I sometimes wonder if the label decided to part with Rahsaan as an artist after he came out.  In a 2008 Logo interview, Patterson stated, "For me, it's not about being the gay artist.  I'm an artist."

Please check his video to Stop By below . . .

James Booker: Bayou Maharajah

Probably the world's greatest piano player that you've never heard of, James Booker was affectionately known around his home town of New Orleans as the Black Liberace.  Another local bayou legend, Dr. John would call Booker "the best black, gay, one-eyed junkie piano genius New Orleans has ever produced. 

His story was unknown to me until I viewed the documentary Bayou Maharajah: The Tragic Genius of James Booker.   A tremendous talent, I would argue that success was limited because he managed to get in his own way.  He would record when he was clean, away from the booze and drugs, but he had a very tough time kicking those habits.  

He would record two studio albums, but the magic for Booker happened when he was live on stage. He recorded a total of ten live albums.  There are also six compilation albums to his credit. Following the viewing of his documentary I decided to do a little more research into this man. Fortunately there are quite a few YouTube views of his performance available.  Simply put, the man is amazing on stage.

He was wildly popular in New Orleans.  And at one point he went on tour and he started making a name for himself in  Europe.  Unfortunately the U.S. never openly embraced the man and his talent so he never became the household name he should have been.

For a glimpse into his world and his mastery of the piano, please view the clip below:

RUPAUL: Supermodel of the World!

"Once upon a time, there was a little black girl in the Brewster projects of Detroit, Michigan.  At 15, she was spotted by an Ebony Fashion Faire talent scout, and her modeling career took off."

He was born RuPaul Andre Charles but he is known quite simply as RuPaul.  He has taken drag out of the clubs and boldly thrust it into homes of people around the world via his hit television series RuPaul's Drag Race.  I, however, have loved him since I first saw him on MTV back in 1993 when his video for Supermodel hit the scene.  

I still find his rise to success odd.  His first CD Supermodel You Better Work was released on TommyBoy Records.  This was a predominately hip hop label.  How in the world this big black obviously gay man land a recording gig with them?  I don't know, I'm just glad that he did.

RuPaul's influence in the dance music industry and on the LGBT community is undeniable.  He has released a total of eleven studio albums.  Additionally his show Drag Race has launched the music careers of countless contestants like Shangela, Bebe Zahara Benet, Alaska Thunderfuck, and Adore Delano.

RuPaul's Drag Race (presently in its ninth season) has gained such popularity that it has transferred from the Logo Network to VH1.  I personally see RuPaul as a trailblazer and a pioneer for the LGBT community and for the drag community.  Some of my personal favorite songs of his include Don’t Be Jealous of My Boogie, The Realness, and her duet with Martha Wash  Can I Get an Amen,  But if I really want to get my life I go back to some of his earlier stuff like Miss Lady DJ, Back To my Roots, and R U Nasty.

But with all of her great music, my all time Ru favorite is still her very first single.  It's the song that put her on our radar and made her a household name.

TONEX aka B. SLADE

I distinctly remember the first time I heard his voice.  I was watching Showtime at the Apollo. (Y'all remember when that was a show)?  He was performing "Personal Jesus."  I had never heard of this artist and I had never heard of this song before.  But his performance was so powerful that following the show, I immediately got in my car and drove to Walmart in an attempt to buy his CD. This was over a decade a ago and downloading music was not yet a thing (at least it wasn't for me yet).

I wanted to know everything there was to know about this young man that slayed at the Apollo.  His vocal control, his range, his annunciation, phonation, accuracy, and pitch - were all simply off the charts. This man could SANG.  This man who was up there singing for the gods was literally singing for God.  His name was Tonex and I would learn that he was considered "The Bad Boy of Gospel." The way he dressed and his stage performances were very atypical for gospel artists.

As a gospel artist he was doing quite well.  The winner of six Stellar Awards and two Grammy nominations, Tonex had carved a niche for himself giving him fame and success in  genre no one would argue as conservative and consisting of "family values."  Then came the moment that would shock the gospel community and force him to relaunch and rebrand himself and his career.

On the series The Lexi Show, Tonex revealed his truth about his attraction to men.  The gospel community was not having it.  Which ironic and hilarious to me considering how the church and gospel music are tremendously influenced by gay men.  Gay men are singing solos and directing the choir and almost every other black church, yet these men often have to live their lives in silence just to appease pastors and church members.  You can see the revealing interview with Lexi below.

Following that interview, Tonex was cast out of the gospel community.  After a short stint away from the public he re-emerged going by the name B-Slade.  He was no longer singing gospel.  He was now a secular artists.  Be that as it may, Tonex, in my humble opinion is still one of the greatest gospel artists ever.  But though I love his gospel, I'm also in love with the new music he is releasing as B. Slade.

I think freeing himself from the restraints of gospel music was one of the best things Tonex could have done.  He now has the liberty to address so many issues that he was not permitted to do as a Christian artist.  He can now freely address same gender love in his lyrics.  And I think young people need to her and see their lives reflected in art like his.

Whatever choice of music he's doing, the man is gifted vocally and there is no denying that. To prove that point I'm just gonna leave you with this performance right here.  This man can scat (and I mean that in a good way), like no other . . .  

Joan Armatrading: The Eternal

She has a music career that spans over four decades.  She has released 22 albums, five of which reached Gold status and three reached Silver status.  Though she has never gone home with the trophy, she has been a three time Gramy nominee.  She is Joan Armatrading.

Quite the accomplished musician, Aramatrading seems to have no desire to abandon the world of music.  She did announce that her 2013 world tour entitled Me Myself I World tour would be her final time on tour, but that doesn't necessarily means she is retiring from the industry (atleast that's how I interpreted her comment).  

Her music repertoire of music is quite impressive as you can see in the below chart that lists her album releases . . .  

Oddly enough, as much of a music junkee I am, I must admit I only recently started to learn about Joan although she has been recording since the year I was born [1972].  I came to realize I was familiar with quite a few of her songs even though I wasn't actually familiar with her.  Perhaps the reason I wasn't too aware of her or her story is because she likes to keep her life very private.  She once stated:

  "People who like my music have a legitimate interest in me, but I need to retain some privacy, not to be telling people what's going on, or what I feel. When you go home, the reason it's beautiful is because it's personal to you and the people you want to include in it."

Although she would like to live a private life, in this world we're living in, you can't stay private forever.  In 2011 it was revealed that Armatrading and her girlfriend had entered into a "civil partnership."

Personally my favorite song by Joan is "The Weakness in Me."  It's a beautiful ballad that tells the story of a love that should not be.  This song is definitely in top 10 of all-time favorites.  Please get into it here: 

B.O.Y. Alex Newell

Alex Newell  became a household name playing Unique Adams on Glee. This part was a bit revolutionary as it was the first transgender character on prime time television.  How did Newell get the part?  Well that's an interesting story.  The Oxygen channel started The Glee Project where they were looking for a candidate that would win several appearances on the series Glee.  The contest garnered over 34,000 video submissions from contestant vying for the role.

Alex made it to the top four in the competition but unfortunately he would not win.  However, the producers were so impressed with Alex that they penned him into to episodes of the show anyway. The character that was supposed to only be a two part appearance was so popular that Newell returned the following season as a regular.

As much as I love Newell for the character he played on Glee, I love him even more for the music he has created outside of the show.  As I listen to many of his tracks, I feel as if I have been transported back to the 70s disco era.  It is pure dance music. His powerful vocals laid over the syncopated beats makes for something groovalicious to the ears.  His first EP, Power, was released in  February of 2016.  And from that EP we got the release of his fun and fabulous video B.O.Y. (Basically Over You).   He partnered with DJ Cassidy to record a single for the HBO show Vinyl.  That single "Kill The Lights" maybe my favorite song by Alex thus far.

With the impressive music he has created thus far, I can't wait to see what Alex is going to do next. Please get into Kill The Lights below:

Frank Ocean: Game Changer

Frank Ocean's debut studio album arrived is the midst of a whirlwind of controversy and conversation.  An accomplished artist as a member of the hip hop collective Odd Future, and having already witnessed a successful mixtape release with Nostalgia, Ultra, Ocean's debut solo project was already eagerly awaited by many within the hip hop community.  But when Ocean penned a letter on his blog confessing his love for another man when he was 19 years old just before the release of his CD, many wondered why? And all wondered what will this mean for his album.  This was a rather bold move for a hip hop artist when this is a genre notorious for homophobia and not taking kindly to anything considered less than manly.

No one knew what consequences were in store for the artist who comes out immediately before the release of his CD.  As it turns out, with great risk comes great reward.  Leaders in the hip hop community rallied in support of Frank Ocean. Beyonce and Jay Z publicly backed Ocean's decision to come out. Tyler The Creator took to Twitter to announce his support. And the Godfather of Hip Hop Russell Simmons would state, "Today is a big day for hip hop.  It is a day that will define who we really are. How compassionate will we be?  How loving will we be? How inclusive are we? Your decision to go public about your sexual orientation gives hope and light to so many young people still living in fear."

Let's recognize this for what it is.  This is a cultural shift for the hip hop community.  This is transformative for a community all about hyper-masculinity and one that was harsh to any signs that reflect "weakness" in men.  Hip hop leaders applauding Ocean for coming out gave permission to members throughout the community to be okay with it.  And this was/is a big deal.

Channel Orange sold tremendously  well upon its release in 2012 and would go on to reach number 2 on the Billboard charts.  We would see three singles released from the album including my favorite "Thinking About You" plus "Pyramid" and "Sweet Life."  Frank Ocean was suddenly in high demand.  He was on magazine covers, he was being interviewed by virtually everyone, and he would even be performing at the Grammys the following year.

His influence on hip hop community has been momumental and oddly enough it was not for his music, although the music is great too.  I don't want people to think that Ocean is the first artist in hip hop to come out.  There is a community of hip hop artists that were already out before Frank Ocean would pen that letter.  Rappers like Tim'm West, Tori Fixx, Caushun were already making out.  But I likes to keep it real and hip hop was not embracing most of these artists.  These artists managed to have some level of success in their circles but none of them were what I would call "mainstream" artists.  Ocean was the first big name to come out, but he was not the first.

And if we want to continue to keep it real, some would argue that some others of out mainstream hip hop artist are also living in the closet, they just chose to remain closeted because of the negative impact that coming out could have on their careers.  In the revealing memoir by Terrance Dean, Hiding in Hip Hop, although names are never mention; Dean discusses several hugely successful and incredibly popular hip hop artists that are gay but will not publicly disclose the truth about their sexual identity.

Ocean decided to come out not knowing what it would mean to his CD or to his career.  It was a very brazen move but it fared very well for the young man.  He changed hip hop and he influenced a lot of young people.  For that I say kudos.

Please check out his video for the song Novacane below . . . 

  

"Little Axe" Broadnax: Transgender Gospel Singer

As well versed as I am regarding the African-American LGBT community, I was totally unaware of the story of Willmer "Little Axe" Broadnax until recently.  The video below is a short (under 5 minutes) but very informative documentary that tells the incredible story.  Please take a moment to view.

WOW! Willmer lived his entire life as a man and everyone except for his brother was unaware.  He accomplished fame and notoriety in the gospel community.  But if this community [the community of Black Christian folks] had been aware of his truth, he would have never have been successful as he was.  I would say the fact that he was able to pull this off was a miracle.  

The story of Little Axe is a remarkable one.  But I'm sure the story of Little Axe parallels the story of many individuals that identify as transgender, especially during this era. Today, trans folks don't have to live under the radar or off the grid.  Gender norms are being destroyed everyday and folks that self identity as trans can walk proudly and demand to be labeled as they see fit.  But not that long ago, for many in the trans community found it necessary to live stealth.

I love gospel music and I love this spectacularly interesting story of Willmer "Little Axe" Broadaxe. It is a story that I feel needs to be a bit more commonplace.  Kudos to him for achieving what he wanted to achieve as a gospel artists inspite of  his very unique circumstance.  And kudos to his brother for keeping his secret for his entire adult life.

Monifah: R&B Diva

I distinctly remember where I was in my life when Monifah dropped her hit single "Touch It." The year was 1998. I had recently become a new resident of Phoenix, AZ having moved there from Alabama shortly after college.  I had managed to secure a job with Xerox.  But trust, every minute after work was spent hanging out with friends and every weekend I would make my way to somebody's dance floor.

"Touch It" was my jam.  It still gets me moving and grooving to this day. But as much as I loved this anthem to promiscuity, I must admit, Monifah did not stand out to me as an artist to watch.  Yes she was beautiful and talented.  And yes, her song was amazing.  But in reality, she existed in the shadows of some of the bigger divas of the 1990s.  In my defense (and in her defense) she was competing against artists like Janet Jackson, Toni Braxton and Mariah Carey.  It was easy during this time for my focus to be elsewhere.

It would be many years later when I would fall in love with Monifah the person.  In 2012 I had almost given up on television.  It seemed like the only thing available to watch was reality TV and I was not a fan of it.  But then came the show R&B Divas.  As a lover of R&B music and a fan of all the women listed on the first season of the show, I had to tune in.  Imagine my surprise when Monifah announced not only was she bisexual but that she was in a long term relationship with a woman. For black same-gender loving folks, this was a big deal.  We were here for the show and we were here for Monifah.  She was unapologetically out and that made me proud.

Considering this bizarre and complex intersection queer people of color must live in, it is always appealing to me to see people comfortable with who they are and announcing to the world that they are happy with their dual citizenship in both the African-American community and the LGBT community.

Monifah and R&B Divas forced black folks to continue to have a conversation about homophobia within the black community.  Let's be real, this is a conversation that is not going to go away anytime soon. Spiritual abuse, social stigma and institutionalized homophobia run rampant in society in general, but black folks are not yet ready to admit that they exists within our community.  So for Monifah to walk proudly in her truth, in spite of all this, I admire her.

In the third season of the show, Monifah would go on to marry her partner Terez.  All the other divas on the show flew to Hawaii to celebrate her and her relationship.  

As much as I go on about her single "Touch It", please do not think of her as a one hit wonder. Monifah would have seven total hits that made it onto the U.S. R&B charts including songs like You Don't Have to Love Me, Bad Girl, and Suga Suga. Following the success of season one of the show R&B Divas, founder of the show Faith Evans would record an album of the same name and invite the ladies from the show to join her on the single "Lovin' Me" which would go on to earn a Grammy. In 2014, Monifah would return to the studio to record her latest single "The Other Side."  Please check her out below: