
Friday, October 31, 2008
HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
No on Prop 102 Rally

Tuesday, October 21, 2008
10 Favorite Black Gay Characters

So I wanted to take a moment to list my favorite top ten Black Gay Men on Film (my list of women will come later). These personalities are so vastly different – some are masculine and some feminine, some are totally out and some still struggle with their sexuality. There is an array of personalities represented.
Check out the list and give me your feedback.










Oops - They Did It Again!

Here are some pics from our evening in the park.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The Fresh Princess?

My final problem with this article is the continuing need for some to force people out of the closet. Let's be real - coming out of the closet is not a simple thing. Sometimes people have to weigh the stakes. And for Will and Jada there is a lot to lose. I'll be the first to admit that we're in dire need of a high profile African-American celebrity to come out as gay or lesbian. There are some great potentials on the horizon (in addition to Will and Jada). Queen Latifah and Diddy are just some names that come to mind.
The backlash that accompanies coming out can be horrific. Will and Jada both have stellar careers. Could Will still demand tweny million a movie if he admitted he were homosexual? Would people still fill up the theaters for his opening weekends if they knew he were gay? So if those are the consequences - what is his motivation for coming out?
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Black Party is Here

On Saturday there will be a pool party and the official Black Party. And Sunday will be a barbecue in the park. Since the first party by the Men of Libra 5 years ago, I've only missed one year (and that was not by choice, I was just out of town when it happened). But I'm definitely looking forward to this weekend. There is sure to be lots of fun and lots of new faces.
Please visit the official website for all the upcoming events and all the details . . . http://www.theblackpartyaz.com/index.html Hopefully I'll see you there.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

But there is a reason for this day. Everyone is not at my level of comfort with their homosexuality. There are many in the LGBT community that disclose discreetly. Only some family members know or only one person on the job knows (or so they think). Let me be the first to tell you - if one person on the job knows, they probably all know. People can't seem to keep their mouth closed about this kind of thing.
I have three separate coming out stories that were significant to me. Telling my mom, telling my twin brother, and telling my best friend. Let me first mention, I didn't come out to myself until I was eighteen. It was during my freshman year at college (with the support of some really close friends) that I finally was able to admit to myself I was sexually attracted to men.
The conversation with my mom was probably the most difficult. This was the most difficult because the consequences were most severe. Rejection from my mom would have devastated me. I was very fortunate. I still remember my mom's words, "If you're happy then I'm happy for you." I have to tell you (at least this is how it was for me), once Mama knows, the rest of the world doesn't matter.
Telling my twin brother was simple (but intersting). Crazy thing about twins, they do know you very well. We were the only two at home one day and we were watching the talk show Jenny Jones. Just before a commercial break they made the annoucement, "If you have a twin brother that you'd like to tell that you're gay or that you're a drag queen, call us and you can be a guest on our show." That's when my brother looked at me and said, "I think you need to get that number." Sounded like he was ready to hear it to me. So I confirmed his suspicions.
Telling my best friend was also interesting. Victor and I had been very close friends since elementary school. We were almost inseparable during high school. I was probably closer to him than I was to my twin. However we ended up going to different schools for college. So one weekend I get a visit from him. During this visit he starts to tell me about how much he had been partying in Atlanta. Now he didn't know that I'd discovered the punk clubs in Hot-lanta too. I pretended to be naive and asked what spots he'd been going to. He basically came out to me without knowing it (or maybe that was his way of coming out to me). Whatever the case, I soon admitted I'd been to all the same spots and came out to him also.
It's the early coming out moments that are difficult. Once you have a few under your belt it gets easier and easier. Hopefully you use (or used) this day to come out or helped someone come out.
For me, I love hearing coming out stories. If you have any interesting coming out stories please share them in the comments section. If know any coming out stories that went terribly wrong or that went surprisingly well, please share them.
Looking forward to hearing from you and Happy Coming Out Day.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Rainbow Festival

The countless over-priced booths all looked as though a rainbow had just exploded over Heritage Park and sprayed spectrum colored paint everywhere. You could buy rainbow bracelets, necklaces, rings, socks, bikini briefs - if you could adorn it, you could buy it. And I loved it. Of course I had to purchase another pair of unneeded but fashionable pair of sunglasses (they were too cute to pass up - damn the economic crisis, they made me look fierce).
The en
To the organizers of the Rainbow Fest- great job and keep up the terrific work. The community not only appreciates it, the community needs it.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I Now Pronounce You Craig and Patrick

The two of them reminded me so much of me and my partner. They've been together fifteen years. Chris and I have been together for twelve years. They're an inter-racial couple. Chris and I are an inter-racial couple. As Craig was reading his vows he expressed how he's been with Patrick for almost half of his life. The same is true for Chris and I.
So fifteen years later, the two of them finally have the opportunity to legally exchange vows and be recognized as a committed couple before the state of California. They were so excited to finally have this opportunity and I was excited to be apart of it.
Unfortunately that recognition they will receive in California will not be shared here in Arizona or in Texas. This drive by many to protect the sanctity of marriage has forced many states to pass constitutional amendments outlawing partnerships between same gender persons. I was very pleased when Arizona became the first state in the U.S. to defeat such a measure. But here we go again - it will be on the ballots again this November.
What is so disturbing is that passage of this amendment does absolutely nothing. Same-sex couples already can't get married here. Proposition 102 will amend the Arizona constitution to define marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. But gay and lesbian couples already can NOT marry here. It's like they're trying to pass this amendment out of spite. It just seems to me this is being done to force us back into the closet and to again live lives that are invisible.
There are also similar bills happening in California and Florida. If the bill is passed in California it will repeal the LGBT marriage rights the state approved earlier this year. This means that Craig and Patrick's ceremony would have been in vain.

Let's talk about this sanctity of marriage that will be destroyed if same-sex relationships are recognized (and remember Prop 102 will not recognize same-sex couples). Craig and Patrick have been together longer than anyone else I know their age. I don't know of any heterosexual couple in their 30s that have that much tenure in their relationship. And I know lots of straight couples. We're denied the right to marry but trainwrecks like Britney Spears can marry for less than 24 hours and then annul the partnership. We're the ones that will destroy marriage but Elizabeth Taylor can marry so many times that we lose count. Please - LGBT ceremonies can only help restore the institution of marriage that has been destroyed by years of divorces, annulments, extra-marital relations and domestic violence that has run rampant among hetersexual couples. I'm not saying we won't experience these same nuances, I'm just saying - the thing called marriage ain't as sacred as people make it out to be.
Congratulations to the happy couple. Craig and Patrick, you two are an inspiration for all couples (gay and straight). People just don't seem to stay together long nowadays and I'm happy that you two have stood the test of time.
LGBT History Month
The individuals in this slide show are just some of the invisible heroes I hold up as role models. All of them were accomplished in their fields. All were gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Not all were open (but you must ask the question - would they have been successful if they were open). If the slide show has ended, just click on the X in the top right corner to replay.
Individuals like Bayard Rustin, Audre Lorde, Langston Hughes and Octavia Butler should have a special place in the hearts of all LGBT people of color. Their successes were exceptional and we should hold them up as role models. Unfortunately their names are not commonplace and their stories continue to be told in part (if at all). The fact that one of the greatest organizers in the African-American Civil Rights Movement was a same-gender loving man is a story we should celebrate. The fact that the first science fiction writer to win the MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant was a African-American lesbian is profound. These stories enrich our community.
I have a challenge for everyone this month. Find someone that you can hold up as a role model and learn their story. With the help of the Internet this homework assignment should very easy to do. Find an individual, learn his/ her story, and if you would - share that story with someone. You'd be surprised how little we know about our historical figures. You'd be surprised how often I hear, "What - you mean James Baldwin was gay?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Losing My Family - Losing My Mind
Several years back my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Her battle with dementia was not too bad in the beginnnig, but if you know how the disease works, it progressively got worse. The decision was eventually made to place her in a nursing home. I know this is true of most diseases, but Alzheimer's is a disease that effects everyone in the family. I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that I didn't see her in her later days. My mom would share stories with me about how she often didn't recognized any of her own kids. It has to be hard on you when you visit your own mom and she has no idea who she's talking to. I think I'm happy I didn't see her like that.