Jason Howard Green

Jason Howard Green

Sunday, August 16, 2015

The Reality of Gay Marriage - Gay Divorce

Yesterday an Arizona judge announced than an annulment will not be granted to Brittney Griner. And this announcement apparently pleases her former partner Glory Johnson who stated she was "thankful the annulment was rejected because an act of marriage did occur."  

Please don't think this article is at all aimed at Brittney or Glory.  I actually don't have a personal opinion about their relationship except to say that I feel sorry that it must play itself out in public.  I am a fan of both individuals and I wish them nothing but the best in resolving this current matter and in all of their future endeavors. 

This post is really just to bring awareness to the reality of gay and lesbian marriages - and that is gay and lesbian divorce.  I am still very excited about the Supreme Court's decision to end the Defense of Marriage Act and grant marriage equality to the LGBT community.  Since that decision was announced, thousands of same-gender loving couples have rushed to their county clerks offices, picked up their marriage licenses, and exchanged rings and vows.  

As the kids say now, YASSS!!!  I loved seeing the pics of married couples across the country finally being able to do what their hetero counterparts have taken for granted.  It fantastic that we're finally receiving the same rights and privileges that come with the institution of marriage.

However, before you rush out to marry your boyfriend or girlfriend, please take a moment to ask yourself if you are indeed ready for this very serious, very intimate, and supposedly very eternal ceremony.  Just because you can now get married does not mean you should go out and get married.  

Do some real soul searching as ask yourself if you are ready.  If you are ready, then ask yourself if your current partner is the person you want to spend the rest of your years with.  And please remember, eternal bliss is based on more than just sex.  Do you and your partner share similar values?  Are you aware of each others' personal situations (i.e. health, finances)?  Do you know more about each other than just where she shops and where he goes to the gym.

There are consequences to rushing into a marriage that you are not ready for and that consequence is divorce.  Divorces tend to get real ugly real fast.  This person that you thought you spend forever with is going to call you every name of the sun, accuse you of every unforgivable act there is, and attempt to punish you by taking as much away from you financially as possible. I'm not saying it's right or it's okay, I'm just saying that this is the normal routine when it comes to divorce.  

So please, before you get down on your knee and propose, make certain that you are indeed ready marriage.  I do not have a magic formula for determining   if you are ready, but take step back and make sure you're ready before you say "I do!"

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Vigil for Kandis Capri Wednesday, August 19

And we have yet again another trans-person killed.  There have not been many details released regarding the death of Kandis Capri.  But it worthy to note that the Phoenix Police Department is trying to make the gay and lesbian community aware of this death by way of the Phoenix LGBTQ Advisory Board.

This Wednesday, August 19, there will be a vigil for  Kandis to be held at the Downtown Phoenix Civic Space, located at 424 North Central Avenue.  The vigil will go from 7:00 - 9:00PM.  

For those that express their support and love of the transgender community by praising Caitlyn Jenner and applauding Laverne Cox, I ask that you show your support locally by coming down to this vigil and demanding an end to trans-violence and transphobia. 

And don't get it twisted, transphobia is not something reserved just for the straight community.  We have quite a few lesbian, gay and bi folks who have disdain, intolerance, and hatred aimed at trans folks.  

I took a moment to read some of the comments on the FB post announcing this vigil and I came across this, "How does this happen in Phoenix?"  I guess it's nice to know some people still see Phoenix as a place where violence against the LGBT community doesn't happen.  This person must be new to the city or totally unaware of what's been happening here.  Please check out some of the links below as a reminder of just how "welcoming" our city is for LGBT folks. [Let it be noted: I do not think our city is exceptionally violent toward our community.  I just think that homophobia and violence towards the LGBT community exists here as it does everywhere else].

Some examples of violence against our community include:
http://www.towleroad.com/2006/12/gay_couple_atta/

http://www.advocate.com/society/hate-crimes/2013/04/01/austin-heads-attacker-gets-two-years-jail-thanks-ariz-hate-crimes-law

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/phoenix-gay-bar-staff-fight-axe-wielding-attacker240213/

Some examples of murder against our community:
http://unfinishedlivesblog.com/2010/03/23/phoenix-transpersons-murder-still-unsolved-after-four-years/

http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20110612/NEWS01/706129875/

Phoenix has been home to it's fair share of violence against same gender loving folks. Hope to see some of you there at the vigil for Kandis Capri on Wednesday.