Do We See Ourselves As Second Class?

I was in a room of gay men tonight. The room was mostly men of color. Somehow we managed to fall into the subjects of gay marriage and gay parenting. This isn't the first time I've heard it, but there are actually gay men that feel that we should not have the right to marry. The reason I've received from these men is that they do not believe it is "of God" for a man to marry a man. To this I say - WTF?

There are also gay men that do not believe that gay men should be parents. The reasons for this seem to be more numerous. Some thought that the impact this would have on the kid would be too much. They felt the kids would be picked on because of the gay parents. Some felt that the roles the gay parents presented to the kids would be confusing. The feeling was that the kid would be totally lost about what it means to be masculine versus what it means to be feminine.

I'm not one to knock a persons opinions. We all have an opinion and whose to say what is right. But it seems to me that gay men that possess these beliefs struggles with self-worth. It just seems to me they are doubting the talents and values they own that could only add to the development of a young mind. I feel that they've allowed their morals to be shaped by some external factors (read heterosexual society) and they have not made these decisions based on their own abilities/ gifts. How do we as people get to a place where deny our own instinctual power and base our decisions on what others tell us? And more importantly - how do we move beyond this?