Jason Howard Green

Jason Howard Green

Friday, October 3, 2008

Losing My Family - Losing My Mind

Hey guys - I know I've been missing in action for awhile but I've been going through a bit much. A few weeks ago I got the phone call from my mom in Alabama. My grandmother (her mother) had passed away. My grandmother was an amazing woman. Ulee Welch raised sixteen children on her own. Yeah - that is a one followed by the number six. Sixteen kids. I've always been amazed by that fact. People nowadays struggle with one or two kids. I have a contest I play with myself some days - it's how many aunts and uncles can you name. It's a struggle listing all of my mom's siblings (I don't even try to keep track of all my cousins).

Several years back my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Her battle with dementia was not too bad in the beginnnig, but if you know how the disease works, it progressively got worse. The decision was eventually made to place her in a nursing home. I know this is true of most diseases, but Alzheimer's is a disease that effects everyone in the family. I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that I didn't see her in her later days. My mom would share stories with me about how she often didn't recognized any of her own kids. It has to be hard on you when you visit your own mom and she has no idea who she's talking to. I think I'm happy I didn't see her like that.

I didn't have time to grieve from the funeral when more bad news came my way. My best friend Myoshi (I call her my sister) called me the day after we buried my grandmother. She'd come home and found her husband dead. This hit me hard. Her husband was a good man and a great friend. He was always smiling and joking. If you were in a bad mood Gary was the person you needed to see. He always had me laughing. He was only 44.

The loss of my grandmother leaves me a bit perplexed. I'm saddened at the loss but I'm happy that she is no longer suffering. She lived a long and happy life. The loss of Gary is one of those things that makes me question God. He was young. He and Myoshi have a two year old son. It just seems to me like his purpose here was so unfinished.

No comments: