So I have spent a big part of my New Year's Day binge watching TV (don't hate me - I know you did it too). I kept hearing about Insecure and I finally got a chance to see it. I must say, I am kinda digging it. But I just watched something that made me take a pause. It's an episode where one girl and the guy she's dating start to talk about their scrupulous sexual history. She mentions how while in college she actually hooked up with another girl. He too shares that when he was younger he once had sex with a guy. After the hook-up, he then realized it was not something he was into and it has never happened again.
Following his confession the girlfriend freaks out. Suddenly she thinks he must be gay. She talks this over with all of her girlfriends and they all come to the conclusion that if he did it once he will probably do it again. She ends up dumping him because she is convinced that he is on the downlow (or that he has the potential to be on the downlow).
So what I want to know if this? Why was it okay for her to hook up with a girl when she was young, but it is not okay for him to have experimented with same-gender sex. There seems to be this perception that girls can have sex with other girls and it's no big deal. But if this ever happens with a guy - he is labeled for the rest of his life as gay. Adolescent toying around is not an option. Youthful experimentation is not permitted. If a guy had sex with another guy once, he must wear the gay label from that moment on. Why is this double standard allowed? And will men ever be able to share this truth (if it is their truth) and not be vilified for it?